Joseph in heaven

I'm amused that Breanna thinks she can take a flying car to meet Joseph (and see his colored coat) in heaven (because he's a man that lived a long time ago and she saw him on TV and he was pretty cool). She is sure she'll need enough batteries to get up there and back down, and she's sure that if her car doesn't have wings, she can get them at the wing store, because surely in heaven there is a wing store.

Text from some of Breanna's thank you's

"Thank you for my scratchy stickers and my pink and black dress that's hanging in my room. That's all. Amen."

"Thank you for the sticker and for the $5. I will buy something and keep it, or have the $5 forever."

"Thank you for my Ariel doll and thanks for coming to my party. I love you. Amen."

And she signed them all herself. :-)

Recent Silly Thoughts

In discussing dinosaurs, I told her they're not around any more and she asked where they went. I said I didn't really know and she said, "Maybe God disappeared them with a witch wand." Yeah, I guess that could be it!

As we were running late for Bible Study Fellowship, but I needed to make a bottle to leave for Shane to feed Katelyn, I was, shall we say, filling a bottle personally, while Breanna was wandering aimlessly in circles. To make polite small talk in the situation, I said, "Isn't it amazing how God made mommies able to make all this milk for their babies?" to which she replied, "And God made little girls to wait."

Just now she told me "hot dog" and "carrot" in Spanish. Can you guess? "Hot dog-o" and "carrot-o."

There was one more this last week, but now I've forgotten it. Wasn't the point of this blog so I would write them down and NOT forget them??? Maybe it'll come back to me...

Ouch!

Breanna just walked in crying, two seconds after she left the room. I finally got her to say, "I hurt my nose." I said, "With the bag?" (She was carrying a paper bag.) She said, "No, with the wall."

Oh. Well, the wall will do that - just reach out and bang your nose.

Balls

Breanna has girl stuffed animals (if they're pink) and boy stuffed animals (anything else, eg an elephant). Don't worry, this isn't leading exactly where you think.

She was playing catch with Shane with a bean-bag type ball, and also a bouncy ball. She took the bean-bag type ball and tossed it to a pink bear and told Shane, "You can't have that one. Only girls have squishy balls."

Someday she'll know why Daddy and I laughed at that, but hopefully not for a long time.

Recent Funnies

Breanna's hand was up by her face and I automatically said, "Breanna, stop biting your nails." She said, in all seriousness, "I'm not biting my nails. I'm picking my nose."

At breakfast, I had several pancake bites left, but I was stuffed. Breanna offered me a bite of hers and I politely refused, saying how full I was. She said, "Mommy, eat one more bite and then you can get down." Guess she's heard that a few times.

One evening, she wanted more milk and she told me she "drunk" all her milk. I said, "Drank. You drank all your milk." She said, "Drunk. Drunk is the Spanish word for Drink." Then she followed it up with, "Drink-o. Drink-a."

Must be doing something right!

Today as we were leaving the library, a lady in the car next to us said to me, "I wish my kid was as well-behaved as yours." I'd heard her son being somewhat rowdy and defiant in the library, but it was nothing I haven't dealt with countless times before, it just happened that today wasn't one of those days. Breanna didn't stop playing games when I told her to, and I had to threaten not to bring home the box she had picked out, but then she chose to come without throwing a tantrum. I just told the lady that we were far from consistent, but we've worked really hard on it. And boy was I proud to hear someone say something like that about my sweet Breanna.

Then when we got home we were talking about what kind of birthday cake she wants this year (pink) and she said she had to eat a whole big bite and I could eat a bigger bite because I have a big mouth. Gee, thanks. But at least then she said Shane would eat a bigger bite because his mouth is the biggest. :-)

She's growing up...

Yesterday after Sunday School, I got a very excited Breanna and was all ready to take her to her next class. We got her name tag on and then she said, "See ya!" and took off running all the way down the hallway and right into her class. I stood there stunned. I'm glad she wasn't fighting and not wanting to go, but it made me a little misty-eyed to see how grown up she was. And still oh, so beautiful!!

Then last night we were playing with her kitchen (thank you, Mimi) and we had to take turns "sleeping" while the other made us tea. She brought me the pot and said, "Wake up, my dear lady!" I was really enjoying the pretending to sleep part of the game and I had been up all the night before with Katelyn, and her bed is insanely comfy, so I said, "I'm having some trouble waking up." She said, "Um...open up your eyes. That might help." :-)

Yes, dear, we're old.

Shane made chicken soup with rice for dinner tonight and here was the ensuing conversation:

Breanna, perplexed: I've had this before.

Shane: Yup, and did you know this is the first meal daddy ever cooked for mommy?

Pause...

Breanna: You're old!!

Just playing with Breanna

Playing flip the toys and flowers in the blanket just now, I noticed a new hole in Breanna's blankie. There were two threads sticking out, so I said, "Let me tie those in a knot." She replied, "Okay, I like knots. Knots are my favorite."

Then we smelled the purple flower and I said it smelled very purply (anyone catch the Elf references here?), but she informed me it was purplish, not purply. So then I was smelling all the other colors and she said, "It's just pretend, mom. They're just toys. You can't smell toys."

Oh, sorry.

Try What?

Playing the dinosaur matching game from Mimi today, I told Breanna the name Triceratops. She said, "Ceratops?" I said, "TRIceratops." She said, "Ceratops?" I said, "No, TRIceratops." She said, "I don't want to. You try it."

Take that, Mormons!

We just got home from a walk to the park. The Mormons got us on the way home. They were surprised when they gave Breanna a picture of Jesus and she said, "That's Jesus. He loves me and takes care of me every day." She now has God in a photo album that she put in her room so she can look at Him in the middle of the night. :-)

Spanish translator

Last night at bedtime, Breanna needed her panties pulled up, so Shane hiked them up a bit too far. She was adjusting the problem, aka picking her wedgie, a word she knows courtesy of Shane, when she suddenly said, "Do you know the Spanish word for wedgie? It's wedga!"

Good for a bedtime laugh!! :-)

Guess who's coming over for dinner?

I said, "Guess who's coming over tomorrow after church?" Breanna said, "Terry?" No. "Dana?" No. "Uncle Homer?" Um, no. And neither is Zuckerman's Famous Pig.

Boys vs Girls

Breanna: "Dad is in a girl family."

Me: "You mean because everyone else in his family is a girl?"

Breanna: "Yeah, but he's not a girl; he's a boy."

Me: "Yup."

Breanna: "Because he doesn't put clippies in his hair."

Drool

Katelyn had a big trail of drool from her mouth to her shoulder today and Breanna said she had "mouth tears." I told her it was drool, then later asked her to see if she remembered. I said, "What was it Katelyn had coming out of her mouth today?" She said, "Some cry."

Breanna Margaret Gray

Shane was talking with Breanna the other day while looking at the collage of pics of Shane's mom that I made him for his 30th birthday. He asked her if she knew where her middle name came from. She said no, even though we've told her before, so he showed her the pics and explained that she was daddy's mommy, Margaret Ann Gray. Here was the rest of the conversation:

"I've never met her."

"No, because she's in heaven."

"With God?"

"Yup."

"And she lives in our hearts like God lives in our hearts?"

"Yup, honey. Just like that."

I get a little teary-eyed just typing it.

Random thoughts by Breanna

Breanna is just full of funnies today.

We came home and saw a yellow bag on the front porch. Knowing it was a phone book (now I think I have 12 - all different), I said, "Go see what's in the bag on the front porch." She said, "It would be cool if it was sand. Or underwear."

Then later, she was in timeout and then I heard the microwave timer beep. Then she said, in an angry voice, "Thank you, God, for beeping the timer!"

Then just now, during Princess Dominoes, I was humming the song from Sleeping Beauty. First she asked what it was from and I told her, and then after a few minutes I hummed it again and she said, "Stop singing that. You're not on TV." I put my head down like I was sad and she said, "Don't cry; you're just not on TV."

More prayers

Breanna, as an addendum to my breakfast prayer: And thank you for dying for our sins, and thank you for daddy not letting the monster in...or the bugs, but I do because I'm little and I always leave the door open. And have a good day. Amen.

Two funny comments within seconds...

Breanna, after smashing her lip and now wanting me to read to her: "Mama, will you please read this to my lip?"

Breanna, in an effort to be more aware of how her actions hurt others: "Mommy, I'm sorry I said mean things to you tomorrow night." Well, at least she's planning ahead!

Breanna's Dreams

I had a dream this morning. When I was a butterfly I flied to Terry and Amie's house and back. And then I had another dream. It was about when I was a flower and I could be smelled. And that was all my dreams.

Modern Biblical Translations

I don't know what Diane is teaching Breanna in class. Breanna said Jesus went to Zaccheus' house and I said, "To have some lunch?" and she said, "No, to fix his laundry." :-)

Leave it to Breanna

Here's a new one from just a minute ago after Breanna was rather forcefully honking Katelyn's nose. Me, in frustration: "Breanna, when are you going to learn to be soft?" Breanna, without missing a beat: "In 4 weeks."

Guess I need to learn to keep my rhetorical questions to myself.

Bathtime

Disclaimer: This isn't as funny as the superhero one, but I still like it. 

The other day before bathtime, I told Breanna I was going to wash her first and then she could play for a while, and I didn't want any fussing about it. She confirmed my instructions by saying, "I don't want any fussing, or crying, or lipstick in the bath." Um, okay. Yeah, wouldn't want that.

Why we're having trouble

Shane to Breanna: It's not okay to just obey a couple times - you need to obey all the time. Breanna to Shane: But I'm not a superhero. I'm Breanna! Oh, so that's the problem? You have to be a superhero to obey now???

That's what money can buy

Shane made Breanna some play money last night and she was just showing me.  I told her to look at the number on it to know how much it was, $1, $5, $10, etc.  But when I asked her what number was on the $5, she said, "5!  $5 Footlong!"

Some catch-up funnies

After bringing Katelyn home from the hospital, I've heard a few funny things, and I need to write them all down so I don't get too many in my head!

First, the other day, while nursing at the dinner table (doesn't everyone do that? It is a family dinner after all!), Breanna leaned over and said, "Mommy, you have chocolate in your belly button."  Women who have experienced the joy of pigment changes while pregnant will get that one.

A couple days ago I gave Breanna a stack of teeny newborn diapers and asked her to put them in the box in the front room.  A little while later, she returned, making a trail of the diapers as she came into my room.  I asked her what she was doing and she replied, "Making a path for Jesus to see when he rides into town on his donkey."  Hey, at least I know she's getting something out of Sunday school!!!

Then at breakfast this morning, I told her Denise was bringing us dinner tomorrow.  She said, "She can play tag with me!  And if she gets tired, she can nap in my bed.  Or she can nap in your bed with you!  [pause]  Or she can do the hokey-pokey!!"  Yes, I'm sure that's just what Denise had in mind.

We also talked at breakfast about how she loved her baby sister.  :-)  She said that she "could rock her slowly, and not bite her cheek or sumfin, because that would make her sore and goose-bumpy."  Um yeah.  Good idea.

Not your typical "want"

Breanna, right this minute, screaming angrily at the top of her lungs from the kitchen (next to, but refusing to be IN timeout):

I WANT YOU TO HOLD ME FOREVER RIGHT NOW!!!!!!!  PLEASE.  HOLD ME RIGHT NOW!!!

Don't worry, I'm not just neglecting her.  I told her I would hold her forever if she wasn't screaming and she sat on the timeout rug for her 3 minutes she is due.  So far, I'm just still getting:

HOLD ME RIGHT NOW!!!  MOMMY!! I WANT YOU TO HOLD ME RIGHT NOW.  HOLD ME, HOLD ME!  HOLD ME NOW!!  RIGHT NOW!!

Maybe they do carry that...

At the library today, reading Breanna a book about trains...

Me: Some cars carry gas, some carry grain.

Breanna:  Gas and grain.

...more similar pages, read out loud, mind you...

Me: Some cars carry metal, some carry scrap.

Breanna, loudly: Metal and crap.  (And no, she doesn't actually know that word!)

I laughed so hard I almost peed, which doesn't take much right now.  :-)

True sharing

We have a really big issue with sharing and playing nicely, which I suppose is fairly common with toddlers and little ones.  Today I was convinced Breanna is trying, but still isn't really getting the grasp of the situations in which she needs to share the most.

Today, our dear friend Cindy Cruse was going to watch Breanna for a while.  We were meeting her at a Burger King, and Breanna was a little confused about the car situation.  I told her that we would put her seat in Miss Cindy's car and she would ride to her house in Cindy's car.  She replied, "Then we can put Miss Cindy's seat in our car, because we can take turns.  That's good sharing!"  True, dear, but I doubt Miss Cindy has her own carseat, and that's not really one of those sharing situations.  :-)

That's what I'm talking about!!!

Sunday before our small group, Shane was putting Breanna's jacket on (her, not him).  I could hear that he was having some trouble with the zipper, and then I heard, in the sweetest little voice, "Maybe we need to get Mommy to help."  SuperMommy to the rescue!!!  No, he did eventually get it done, but I was flattered.   :-)

We didn't leave you alone!!

Last Friday ...Before Shane's alarm even went off we heard Breanna run down the hallway screaming, "Daddy!!!!!!  Daddy!!!!!"  He stumbled out of bed to follow her and see what was wrong.  She was already at the back door, still screaming for him.  He got her and then she started crying for me.  She was incredibly distraught and she finally explained that she thought first that he had left without saying goodbye.  And then when she saw that he was still home, she thought maybe it was me that was gone.  Turns out it was just the garbage truck going by outside.  He brought her back and she just snuggled into my arms in bed for quite a while until she could stop the tears and sniffling.  It was kind of funny really, but to feel that loved was great!

What color?

After a few horrible, awful, truly humiliating, tearful and stressful shopping trips with Breanna, I had been afraid to take her anywhere.  Last week, I needed to go to Aldi, so I told her that if she was a good girl in the store we would stop and get a treat on the way home.  I said we could go get ice cream (Steak n Shake has 1/2 off shakes from 2 to 4 M-F).  She said, "But I have to eat my chickens first."  Normally with fast food, she gets chicken nuggets and a shake wherever we are, so that's proof that we at least make her eat the nuggets first!  :-)

But anyway, I told her that we weren't going to get chickens, just a treat and that we'd go to Steak n Shake and get a shake.  She replied saying something about burgundy.  I looked all around for something burgundy and didn't see anything.  I asked for clarification and she just went on and on about burgundy.  I finally told her, "Honey, burgundy is a color, like a dark red.  Do you see something that color?"  She said something about going to burgundy, and after a total of about 5 minutes I figured out that she was questioning Steak n Shake versus a more frequent stop of Burger King.  Then I love it when she acts like, "yes, that's what I've been saying all along!"

And yes, she was a good girl but was sound asleep before we got back to Steak n Shake - but I still got her shake and she got it when she woke up in the car in the garage.  First thing she said when she opened her eyes was a very worried, "Where's my shake?????"

Rock Band

The other day Shane had just finished up Rock Band, but it was still on playing background music.  I heard him say to Breanna, "Play your air guitar.  See daddy playing air drums?  Get your air guitar and rock with me!"  

She replied, "But I don't see it!"

Which Came First - the chicken or the egg?

The other day Shane was home with Breanna while I went to the store.  They must have discussed eggs, because when I got back, Shane asked Breanna to tell me where eggs come from.  No doubt he was hoping I'd be impressed by the wisdom he had passed down to our child.  Well, after asking a few times, she finally answered, "Pizza Hut."

Um...probably not the answer he expected.  :-)